Add a working contact form to your static site in 30 seconds (no backend, no serverless)

Static sites are having a moment again. Astro, plain HTML, Next.js static exports, Hugo - fast, cheap to host, nothing to patch at 2 AM. There's exactly one feature that keeps dragging people back to servers: the contact form. The usual escalation goes like this. You ship a beautiful static site, the client asks "where do the enquiries go?", and suddenly you're evaluating serverless functions, SMTP credentials, and spam filtering for what should be three input fields. Here's the entire integrati